how can u be prego again
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Green mimosas i think yes
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
