i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
