i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
