the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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