I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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