he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize