you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
