i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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