It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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