I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
