Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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