I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
