i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
