so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
