If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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