Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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