Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
