how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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