This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
