RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
