I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
