Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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