But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize