i was born a porn star she said
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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