That's intense
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she looked like the before picture.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
