the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
