i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The ass gains better be worth it
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