Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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