I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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