do herpes really smell.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
