1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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