No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
