what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
