I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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