We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Randomize
