Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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