i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
