I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
