I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Come share oat with me in your robe
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
