oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my liver is dry heaving
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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