Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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