I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think my fart just growled at me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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