My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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