i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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