and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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