this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
