Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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