another moral hangover. fuck.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
