SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
