You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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