it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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