My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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