Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
