there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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