if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
