I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize