i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
