i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
