i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
