I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
