You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
God, I missed his penis.
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