remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
